The other day I shared a blog post from The Darling Detail on Facebook that was about comparison, and how we all get caught up in comparing ourselves to others and lose perspective on our own journey. It’s a great post that really struck a chord with me, and I felt compelled to expand on it because it’s something I feel quite strongly about.
As women, we tend to compare every aspect of ourselves to other women and either put ourselves down in the process, or those who have what we want. Why doesn’t my hair look like hers? I need to dress like that. Why don’t I travel as often as she does? I bet she makes more money than me. I want a relationship like hers. I want her body. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s a vicious cycle that perpetuates negativity in the community of women, which should be empowering and supportive. We should be happy for the good things in each others’ lives and not measuring up where we stand in comparison.
The first step I’ve taken to help me keep my eyes on MY prize, is acceptance. Accepting who I am and what I have and don’t have. When you love and are kind to yourself, it relieves the pressure of keeping up with what you think is the status quo. Beauty has many shapes and sizes and success is subjective. So why beat myself up over how much she’s “leaning in” or that her pants size is smaller than mine? When we accept that who we are and what we have is enough, not only can we find more happiness in our life, but we can be genuinely happy for others as well.
I am the first to admit I am guilty of the comparison game. Especially with starting a blog. I am always looking at my favorite bloggers’ photos or their outfits, or how put together they aways seem (‘seem’ being the key word) and thinking that I am way behind the curve. But instead of envy, I try to turn it in to inspiration. When I’ve taken someone else’s formula and applied it to my life, it didn’t work. Because what works for someone else, doesn’t work the same for me. Instead, be self-aware enough to make what inspires you fit in to your life. If you are inspired by how far another woman has grown in her career, and want to climb the so-called ladder yourself, don’t be afraid to ask how she got there. But know that the steps she took may look different in your line of work, or may not be something that fits you personally. That’s ok! That doesn’t mean you’re doomed for failure, that just means her formula for success doesn’t apply to you. High five her for being awesome, take what you can from her example and move on to find your own path. Being self-aware is the best tool you can have in life, in my opinion. Once you’ve audited yourself, flaws and all, accept it and embrace it. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is what will set you apart in the long run.
No one has 100% altruistic thoughts 100% of the time. But I can assure you being positive towards yourself, and others, is what will keep you moving forward. Negativity only keeps you stagnant. And no one became a #GIRLBOSS by standing still.